How to Live the Life of Your Dreams

Nicole Ann
5 min readJul 11, 2023

Alchemising what holds you back into what energises you forward

Photo by Julia Caesar on Unsplash

“[My friend] believes that nothing matters, so life should be just one big party, and I believe that everything matters, so life should be just one big party.” — Leeor Alexandra

Sometimes, we take life so incredibly seriously.
We fixate on each slight detail, attempting to alter, manipulate and control them, in the hopes of piecing together our dream life. We may believe the dream to be so real and so tangible. We stress, worry, and tense up, perhaps achieving much, but not truly enjoying the quality of the human experience.

Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash

And other times, we may detach and disassociate from our lives.
We become more nonchalant, and we may even succumb to lethargy and apathy; a state of “why does this even matter?” For we believe that dreams are illusions and delusions. We do not perceive the human experience as something worth celebrating.

Photo by Vladislav Muslakov on Unsplash

What if I told you that the sweet spot was somewhere in the middle of “everything matters” and “nothing matters”?

Being attentive and mindful of your thoughts, words, actions and choices, and how they impact your life and world, matter. It does matter, and it all makes a difference, no matter how slight and subtle. Each decision you make today, takes you on a trajectory to a new tomorrow. By creating different and wholesome habits and choices, the course of your life can shift remarkably.

In essence, the decisions you make today, contribute to the quality of your tomorrow. You cannot plant poison ivy, and expect a rose garden to blossom. Self-awareness is crucial, in this aspect of your journey.

This all requires taking the active steps to heal your psychological wounds, as well as discipline, and adequate effort, to make the choices that align with what it is that you desire.

Photo by Suad Kamardeen on Unsplash

But, at the same time, nothing truly matters. Nothing in life quite matters in the magnitude in which you perceive it to. You may try to desperately grasp for tomorrow, as if it is already fixed and here. You cling to this life as if it will last indefinitely, forgetting that the average human life is approximately 73 years. So there is a certain freedom that comes from knowing how temporary this life is; a freedom that allows us to leave behind what does not matter, to us. And there is grace in making, and learning, from mistakes. And moving on from them.

What’s more, a turbulent storm may come, and disrupt what it is that you are cultivating in your life. You have to gracefully know how to accept a situation that is out of your jurisdiction of control. By trying to control what cannot be controlled, you fight reality, which will only drain you of vital energy.

This requires surrender, an ability to relax, and allowing yourself to see the humour and beauty of life, amidst the uncertainty of it.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

What if I told you that the experience of fulfilling a dream may be transient, but that the experience can still be deep, vivid, and meaningful?

Perhaps, it is not from being dreamless, that one achieves a state of peace. And maybe it is not about having boundless ambitions and desires, that feel empty, once accomplished. Perhaps, it is simply about prioritising meaningful goals, that serve to add value to the “highest good” to yourself, and those around you. Be discerning of what you choose to focus on. And once you have found a purpose, channel your energy into igniting it to life.

Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

What if I told you that everything that weighs you down internally, is mental and emotional energy that you could spend channelling into focusing on your goals?

Your afflictive emotions (fear, anger, pride, jealousy, sadness, and so forth) exist not only because of a trigger, but also because you have the capacity to feel. You are a human, after all, with a human range of emotion. But sometimes, excesses of these emotions may feel weighty and fatiguing.

Observe these emotions, and do not attempt to chase them away. Spending time in meditation, or in an activity that elicits the Relaxation Response, may reduce the intensity of these emotions, in time. This will free you: energetically, mentally, and possibly even physically, giving you more freedom and space, to naturally invite more enthusiasm into your life, which will help you focus on what brings you meaning and purpose.

Photo by Katerina May on Unsplash

The fear that constricts you, can transform into lucid awareness, that expands you.

“Perhaps we are better off living every moment — every action, idea, choice, and word — as if it were the very reason we were born. How much more beauty and meaning would you find in everyday things if that were your approach? Imagine a life in which each day is engaged with sacredness and honor, as if it were the most important in the world…”

— Ryan Gladney

“Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety.”

— Plato

“Like a tiny drop of dew, or a bubble floating in a stream; Like a flash of lightning in a summer cloud, Or a flickering lamp, an illusion, a phantom, or a dream. So is all conditioned existence to be seen.”

— Buddha

“You live a life of your dreams, by remembering that it’s all a dream.”

— Maryam Hasnaa

--

--

Nicole Ann

BA English/Religious Studies. Currently studying psychology.